Column topics I'll probably never get around to dept.: with so many head-shop clerks in ginger dreadlocks wandering around and raving about what great stuff hemp is, you might be tricked into thinking that there was actually a viable market for it. Agriculture journalist Barbara Grinder talked to Alberta growers who have tried experimental hemp production and found most of them disapponted. Apparently Canadian families aren't yet making hemp-heart casserole a weekly taste treat, and Dr. Bronner manufactures only so much soap. Bonus features of yesterday's miracle crop: it doesn't store well and there's little processing capacity. I guess we'd better stick to lupins.