No one has put this on public record before, and I am risking my very life by revealing it, but every night before bed, every Albertan quietly whispers this short prayer:
God bless the leader of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition, for he shall keep an Albertan in 24 Sussex.
God bless President Hugo Chavez, for he wardeth off the oil companies and maketh our oil sands the more precious.
And God bless the teachers and school boards of the nine other provinces and the fifty states, for they are the guarantors of our children's posterity, and our children's children's. Amen.